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Saturday, July 14, 2012

2012: Name: 'Who Am I?' 'I Am The Saint Character I Chose To Become' Day 91

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'I am the saint' character based on a memory of when my father said he named me after Saint John the Baptist - defining myself within saint and not saint - within a memory .

I realized that this character started when my dad gave me the name June Baptist Roca when i was born -  where i judged myself as 'more than' myself -  and judged others 'less than me' - so i can feel good about myself - separating myself  from what's real  - the real reality  - that i am within the physical flesh body  and others are also in a physical flesh body  - and that we are equal - as we are made from the same substance all are made of. I made an alternate version of me as 'the saint character'  - in my mind -  and in that alternate reality - i always win - which is an illusion i created in my mind.

When and as i see myself defining myself within the 'i am the saint' character - seeking the 'moreness of me' - i stop, i become aware of me as the breathe within the body - of which i am equal to - realizing that defining myself within the polarity manifestation of saint and not saint is limiting me within a polarity equation - and to exist within a memory is existing within the past.- that is not here.  I change my starting point from living in the past to living here as breath. Defining myself within an energetic experience of me within those words is living an energetic existence - so i redefine the words -and give it a meaning  equal to who i am . I change my starting point. I am here.


I commit to delete this character- as he memory - as pictures - as desires etc. within and as myself and let go of the separation within and as myself - and stand with the physical body in every breath that i take

I commit to expose the use of clothes to beautify the images of saints in churches - consuming the physical  as plants are used to make the fabrics which were sewn to make the glittery clothes of the saints

I commit to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, i will assist myself to stop existing within the dimensions this character exist in and as consciousness.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the Truth of the Matter: that I will in Fact Find Myself only when I Realize the Truth of what I am In Fact, which is without a doubt within a Physical Flesh Body which Contains a Mind, which Contains Dimensions, which Contains Memories, which ContainsCharacters - of which I am one - as a Character Depending on the Relationship I believe Exists between these Characters of which some of the Dimensions as Characterized Memory, I have imposed on the Flesh Body to be able to Move around on Earth - which is a Body in the Solar System, which is a Body in a Galaxy, which is a Body in a Universe – and if I cannot be Self-Honest about these Facts, I will not be able to Find my Way and Realize the Truth of Actual Reality.

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