Postponement Character : Day 192 Consequence Dimension

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http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-want-to-do-something-now-day-187.html

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to postpone the birthing of  me here as life and so postpone the birthing of life as all 

I forgive myself that i haven't  accepted and allowed myself to when and as the consequences manifested in my world and reality the first time, to immediately wake up and realise what it is i am doing to myself, my own life and immediately made a decision to no more accept and allow but to stand up and change and stick to my  responsibilities/obligations. But instead, - i forgive myself  that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself  with reactions of fear, regret and shame from where i created another character of 'i don't care, and essentially from this character blamed the responsibility within the statement of 'fuck it' without realising that i am in fact angry/frustrated within myself for having postponed when i knew what i was doing but still didn't stop myself and hide even more further into my mind attempting to suppress my own reaction to consequence

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to continue accumulating energies as it serves as the platform of the 'i don't care' character - all of which simply prove that i have become the servant of mind energy - that i did not immediately in the first moment that consequence manifested stand up and change for me and my relationship to this world and reality but instead gave in to the mind, going for the good feelings while the consequence in reality continue manifesting and accumulating

Commitment To Correction

I commit myself to have a look at all the opportunities i have accepted and allowed myself to miss, to compromise to sabotage with me accepting and allowing postponement, and in looking at it all in facing this consequence, commit myself to establish and live my self-directive will, as the living word i apply of no more accepting and allowing myself to evolve the mind of consequence, but align myself to the living solutions in this actual physical world

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when consequence manifest in my world - to not accept and allow myself to react in fear, guilt and shame or regret by suppressing the reactions through creating more characters but commit myself to forgive myself for the reactions and from the forgiveness establish within the commitments a living practical solution so that i do not create the same consequence in my life.

I commit myself to stand within birthing me here as life to birth life in the physical as all.

The Word 'Write' : Day 191 : Connected To Fame

Guide To Redefining Words

http://juneroca.com/words/redefining-words/

The FREE DIP Lite Course Launched

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In this blog,  will look at what i connected and defined this word to/within and write self-forgiveness statements for  separating  from this word - by giving it a positive and a negative value - where i see it as more than or less than me  and not seeing it as what it is -  as equal to my expression. I will then correct my self application breath by breath, moment by moment and use it as equal to my expression.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word write by giving it a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word write by giving it a positive value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word write with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word write with a negative value

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POSITIVE

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word fame

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word fame

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word intelligent

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word intelligent

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word authority

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word authority

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word better

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word better

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word literate
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word literate

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NEGATIVE

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word ignorant

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word ignorant

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word illiterate

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word illiterate

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word  dumb

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word dumb

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word write to the word duty

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word write within the word duty

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I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating myself from the word write - giving it a positive value and a negative value - and connecting/defining  it to/within other words -  i stop participating. I breathe. I assist myself to be clear before i say the word and use the word as equal to my expression as who i am as life.

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people who do not write is ignorant -  judging people  who write/ literate as intelligent  and those that do not write/illiterate - as dumb - not seeing and realising what real communication is about as the hereness of sound

I commit myself to accept and allow myself to have real communication with/as the body as the hereness of sound

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when  one writes one gets better  as a person - evolving and becoming wiser - believing that writing gives someone fame and fortune - judging fame and fortune as more than me

I commit myself to when and as i see myself believing that when one writes one gets better as a person - evolving and becoming wiser - i stop mind participation. I breathe. I bring myself back here and change my starting point - from an evolving alternate version of me within an alternate reality as my mind - having fame and fortune within writing ,  to  stopping mind participation, changing  and standing in ones process of self-perfection - as one births oneself as life through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application

Embracing Sadness: The Word Sadness Day 190 Word Connections

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Redefining Words:

http://juneroca.com/words/redefining-words/

In this blog i am looking at my relationship with the word 'sadness' - separating from the word by charging it with a positive and negative value - looking at the words i connected it to and defined it within - where i did not see it equal to my expression and to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application assist myself to release the charge,  redefine it and use the word as equal to my expression .

Sadness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word sadness by giving it a positive value
I forgive  myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word sadness by giving it a negative value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word sadness with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word sadness with a negative value

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word

helping

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word helping

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word charity

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word charity

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word money

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word money

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word gifts

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word gifts

Negative

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word bad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word bad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word poor

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define sadness within the word poor

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word alone

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word alone

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word defeat

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word defeat

I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word unhappy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word unhappy

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word death

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word death

I forgive myself that ih ave accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word sickness

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  connect the word sadness to the word sickness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word pain

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sadness to the word suffering

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word sadness within the word suffering

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I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, accept and allow myself to use it as equal to my expression and make sure i am clear before i speak the word.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating from the word sadness - i stop - i breathe and change my starting point and then correct myself and speak and write it as equal to my expression. 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself seeing people in pain, sickness and suffering, i flag point myself - and assist myself to stand and use the words sadness, pain, sickness,  suffering etc.  as equal to my expression

I commit myself to write about my experiences of sadness so that i can see where i participated in fearing pain, sickness and suffering, death, aloneness etc.

Embracing Sadness: Fear of Being Sad Part 2 Day 189 Vegetarianism, The Philippines and My Grandmother

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Fear of Sadness Part 2

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no shelter or home to shield my body from the heat of the sun - where i fear being under the intense heat of the sun - my skin burning - with no clothes to wear

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the intense heat of the sun burning my skin'

- where i fear the feeling of my skin burning from the intense heat of the sun

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the feeling of my skin burning from the intense heat of the sun

- where i connected pain to suffering, discomfort and agony

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the fear of feeling the pain of my skin burning from the intense heat of the sun - because it's like my skin tearing apart and then creating a sore that i will put medicine on and will sting

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my skin tearing apart

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the sun - where within that fear having skin sores i am blaming the sun - so existing within blame.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear having skin sores

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to spite nature as the physical as i blamed the sun for my fear of having skin sores

- and connecting this to an experience within a  memory of when my grandmother putting merthiolate (colored orange) on my  skin when i was pierced by the needle of the sewing machine when i was trying to operate without her permission

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'fear of unpleasant sensations' character -where i fear physical sensations of pain and form a relationship with physical sensations, not realising that physical sensations are just physical sensations, i do not have to judge them as good or bad or have aversion for them.

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to fear putting medicine  on my skin or any part of my body

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear merthiolate

-where after she found out about me operating her sewing machine without her permission -

These were my thoughts:

 'she is not around so i can sneak in and operate her sewing machine and see how this operates'

'i can hide the fact that i operated her sewing machine without her permission'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide the fact that i operated my grandmother's sewing machine when i agreed not to - using words within my mind to hide and be self-dishonest in separation of me equal to the words.

- where i enjoy the risk of doing something that she said is dangerous for me to do

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ''risk is happiness' character

- where my backchat was:

 'i just want to try it, see what will happen, why is she stopping me to do this? I have the right to do whatever i please'

'i will do as i please'

'she put this medicine on the cut on my skin which hurts - she wants to hurt me'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear medicine

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear doctors

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear nurses

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear hospitals

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within my fear of pain and suffering - spite the physical, as in the hospital building etc.

- where i fear going to the hospital - so tried to become healthy by becoming cooked vegetarian, and later be cooked raw vegan, then became raw vegetarian, then became raw vegan and then tried not eating for 3 and 1/2 days - trying out the 'breatharian diet'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing myself like the poor kids in the philippines without sandals to go to school, noses full of snout, their faces looking apathetic - in the midst of pain, discomfort and suffering

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being so poor and out of job and end up living in a cart -with cardboard boxes shielingd them from the rain and the sun - not having a blanket to cover themselves at night

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is no way they will have a better future

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear me being in their shoes, doomed to be this poor

I forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to be 'unaware' of who i am as the breath in every moment - where i create an alternate reality within my mind where i fear and then desire happiness as i fear the dark side of me and desire only the light - not seeing and realizing that within my desiring the positive and the light to make me happy in my 'within' as my mind i am creating a world of darkness and negativity in my 'without' as this current world system based on inequality and self-interest

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Commitment to Correction

To Birth me as LIFE

I commit myself to instead of fearing being hospitalized and fearing nurses, doctors, and hospitals, and then desiring to try every diet that seems working for others, assist myself to see the the body and food as equal to my expression and assist myself through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, find out how i separated from the body and nature and food and correct myself within that, redefining words and using them as equal to my expression

I commit myself to assist myself through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application to instead of hiding and blaming others for my suffering, i will redefine the words which i gave a negative value to - which i react to, stop reliving memories of me being hurt by my grandmother's sewing machine seeing that it is the past that i am relieving at this moment - which is me time travelling withinmy mind-  and just take self-responsibility for operating machineries like sewing machines, driving a car and learning how to operate them so i can stop myself from hurting my body and wrecking the machine. 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, i assist myself to instead of fearing i start looking at what stops me from looking at my world, forgiving and correcting myself in my living -  to birth me here as life and birth life in this world - as standing for what is best for all on  EAR-th.

I commit myself to release the memories as pictures, as desires etc. within and as myself and let go of the separation within and as myself and stand with the physical in breath by breath, moment by moment.

I commit myself to instead of fearing pain and suffering and connecting/defining those words within/to other words such as hospitals,  nurses and doctors, to redefine these words and forgive myself for defining and connecting these words within/to other words and instead of using them as separate from me as i charge these words with a positive or negative value, i release the energy charge i give it and use it as equal to my expression.

I commit myself to rather than fear not having a roof over my head i assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality - where everyone will get the basic necessities to survive - as all would get a roof over their head - and live in dignity

Embracing Sadness : Fear of Sadness: Desire for Happiness SF Day 188

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This is a continuation of this Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-word-here-day-178-connected-to.html

I have blogged in my previous blogs about the 'Happiness' character,  as who i have become within my desire to be 'happy' as, that was what drive me to do/have :

'Happiness' from Eating Noodles:
 http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/food-and-nutrition-noodles-philippine.html
'Happiness' from Yoga and Meditation
 http://juneroca.com/my-process/tantrik-yogi-character/
'Happiness' from Prayer
http://juneroca.com/my-process/jesus-mary-and-prayer/

'Happiness' from doing Zen Meditation
 http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-breath-21-days-breathing-sf-zen.html
Happiness from going to Philippine Picnics
 http://juneroca.com/2012/10/20/picnics-as-happiness/
'Happiness' from Relationships and Sex
 http://juneroca.com/my-process/sex-and-relationships/


So, in this blog, i will look at and write self-forgiveness statements for the opposite polarity of that, which is  really what is driving me to desire 'happiness', my fear of sadness, fear of pain, fear of suffering, fear of death and essentially, fear of 'not existing' and the origin of my 'desire for happiness being my fear of sadness'

For context about self-forgiveness, go to this link, http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to create a relationship with fear of sadness defining myself within the 'fear of being sad

 - where what made me sad is seeing the poor in the Philippines


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being poor


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having money to buy something to eat

- where i have taken this experience within a memory, of when i was a child seeing some poor people in the Philippines not having food to eat - not having money to buy food to eat- where i saw them in a condition i will not want myself to be, as i travel with my mom around town asking for people to vote for her as a candidate for counsellor in the town where we live, i saw:

a family, in a small hut with floors made of sand 4 square meters big, doing nothing, wearing dirty clothes staring at me with apathy, silent, not uttering a single word, resolved to being that poor for the rest of their lives - where when i looked at their stove which wass made of clay with 3 stones mounted on top, and an empty pot with no electrc power nor water source - i wonder how they live, or how i could help, but i was a child
so i could not even help myself - where the only thing i believed i could do is pity them, and so i did.So, i commit myself to when and as  i see myself feeling sorry for the poor and giving them pity, i stop, i breathe. I bring myself back here and realise this current monetary system is being supported by me, the same monetary system that supports poverty, so i commit myself to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality where all gets the basic necessities they need to survive.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to - within my fear of sadness suppress my anger of  being in a world that does not honor the equality of life - and to rather than suppress my anger, i commit myself to when and as i see myself suppress my anger, i stop - i breath and change my starting point and assist myself to instead of standing in a platform of me being separate from all life, where i judge, compete, fear, desire, suppress etc. to be 'happy'. I commit myself to instead, assist myself to stand in a stable platform of equality, where i can embrace and equalize with/as who i really am as everything that is here, sadness, happiness, anger, fear, suppression, redefine these words, and use them as equal to my expression and assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

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'I Want To Do Something Now!' Day 187 Postponement Character fear Dimension 2

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This is a continuation of this Blog

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-to-do-when-bored-shoulders-are.html

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still, place my wants needs and desires before physical, reality responsibility that will determine my relationship to me, others and my future in this world - in this utilizing the postponement character as a means to justify 'making myself feel better' for placing my wants and desires before physical practical responsibility where i as the postponement character initiate the reactions of fear of missing out/losing out on that something else - event - if i place responsibility before my want and needs and so allows myself to manipulate myself with fear in relationship to my wants and needs instead of being here, stable in/as breath qne doing things that needs to be done.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i would still, to this day, with facing a responsibility, blame the education system, my teachers, parents or even the responsibility itself  as taking away from me the fulfillment of my wants and needs in moments in time where i know i have to tend to responsibilities but wants to satisfy my wants, desires and needs first - and so will blame education, assignment, teachers, professors, parents - anything/anyone i can blame/exert my own inner conflict to, as i know what i am accepting and allowing that i am angry and frustrated with myself in this inner battle between my wants, needs and desires and the responsibilities or tasks that is here before me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame everything/everyone else for 'taking away' my opportunities/time to satisfy my wants, needs and desires  - where i justify me satisfying my wants before tending to the practical physical reality responsibilities

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i still from childhood hold onto this relationship or conflict with time and the here of my world/ reality within the relationship to responsibility - as i still from childhood place my wants before my life in this world and reality

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how we've created this world system - this entire entertainment world - which is the postponement world system - with its prerogative entertaining and catering to the wants and needs of humans - the entire living condition of 'i want it now' - that which money can buy - where humans  place their wants and desires before their responsibility to humanity and this world as a whole - facing the consequences of placing wants and needs before what is here as our responsibility to this physical existence - establishing real solutions to manifest a heaven on earth where there's physical balance between preference and responsibility - instead of a minority satisfying my wants and desires in the expense of the rest of humanity and this physical existence


I commit myself to assist me to no more accept and allow the fear of missing out on my wants to overpower and control me in moments of facing reponsibility - as i see and realise i am not really missing out on anything  - this indicate that i need to sort out my definition/priorities regarding what responsibility is in fact in relationship to myself. my world and my future within it

I commit myself to stop blaming others for the responsibilities i require doing, stop placing my wants before reality as the physical that is real and get into the grips of reality - realising that nothing can change unless i get my priorities straight - in seeing that whatever  i see in my mind is not real if it exist at the sacrifice of humanity with the wants i possess  in my life through money and money's relationship to humanity and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to instead of satisfying my wants and desires - stand and decide for what is best for all

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - stop the memories, as pictures, desires  etc.  within and as myself and let go of the separation within and as myself and stand with the physical in every breath that i take.