2012 The Cycle of Creation The Split Meditation Part 8 Day 50

The Cycle of Creation according to how i believed it was when i was a yogi was something like this:

The Cycle of Creation

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'The Guru Is The Best?'

  Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 

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In this Diagram, it was explained from the yogic material that i read - that matter evolved through clash and cohesion into mind and mind evolved into consciousness. Then, the downward cycle began and the devolution of consciousness began, followed by the devolution of the mind into matter - where matter was said to be crude and consciousness subtle - making consciousness more than matter. 

This is not consistent to what is here - and not consistent with the reality that we are equal to all that exist - as we are made from the same substance all are made of - matter.  I realized this is in reverse of what is REAL . What is commonsense is - reality is the practical physical world each and everyone lives in where the physical laws and consequences are equal for everyone. 
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What i BELIEVED Consciousness Is:
Link

*'It performs the act of witnessing all events in the universe'

*It is the basic "stuff" from which everything else is composed. It is the fundamental entity controlling all actions in this universe -like the master architect who has made the plan of the universe and acts to carry it out'

'However, the architect takes the help of Prakrti, the operative principle, in order to carry out it's task. Prakrti is the other aspect of Brahma, or the other side of the piece of paper so to speak. In the cycle of creation the dominant and controlling role belongs to the Consciousness and the operative principle is considered to be a characteristic of Consciousness'

*'It is the Consciousness which permits the Operative Principle to work. If the Consciousness does not give the Operative Principle a chance to work, then the pure Consciousness remains without any modification. In this condition the Consciousness is beyond human conception because it does not have attributes such as form, smell, shape or colour.'

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Let's look At This...

In this BELIEF, i believed i split into 2 - Consciousness and Mind - Ego and Self

So, the reason i meditated is for the mind to evolve and for me to unite with Consciousness. 

 I did not realize that WHO I AM IS HERE - as life/substance is always here as WHO I REALLY AM. 

So when i decided to meditate it was coming from Fear that i cannot stop my mind by myself - believing i need a guru to tell me what to do. It was from a starting point of DOUBT and UNCERTAINTY - and the conflict or friction - accumulated anxiety - creating FEAR/FEAR of loss of who i am as SELF - not realizing i am here as self in every moment of breath. I simply live as who i am - equal to all that exist - using the self-living principles- self-forgiveness, self- corrective application, taking self-responsibility, and self-directing me in every moment. 

Instead of standing as that self - i gave my power to my guru - based on knowledge and information and judgment that he was more than me - and i am less than him. I was trapped as the ego/character/personality - separating myself from everything and everyone - defined by beliefs, judgments etc. - where i see words - as more than or less than what they are - by the meaning i gave them.

 Fearing the loss of me as who i have become - which i erroneously equated to/as self - based on knowledge and information separate from me - as i identify as the ego/character/personality. 

I am directing this here writing self-forgiveness and self-commitment to assist me to see that i have always been here - i as who i really am - was pushed aside in favor of an energetic high - which is BLISS - an energy experience that transforms substance to energy - through meditation - where i use the body to manifest an energy experience of BLISS - beleiving that bliss is an experience of union with the 'supreme consciousness' - not realizing that in doing such - I AM ABUSING SUBSTANCE/LIFE.

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Self-forgiveness Statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from all parts of me as life as substance

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to meditate from the starting point of experiencing positive energy - desiring the 'moreness of me' within 'bliss' - not realizing that my starting point from doing that is fear of losing me as self- as i identify as the ego/character/personality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within beliefs - where i abdicate and consume me as substance/life and transform me as substance to energy - for an energetic experience of bliss - so i will feel good.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is another place outside of myself to go to - where i can unite with that supreme consciousness - not realizing that the very concept that there is a 'supreme being or supreme consciousness' is an idea/judgment based on inequality - which is not based on commonsense - because what is commonsensical is that i am equal to all that exist - as all are made from the same substance all are made of - and that i am equal to/as MATTER - the principle of life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT SEE /REALIZE that  the guru is  equal to all that exist - not more than who i am - as he is made from the same substance all are made of - and my belief/idea that he is 'taraka brahma' or 'supreme consciousness' is not real - because i created that in mind - out of fear that i will be reincarnated as an animal or plant - and from that fear decided to abdicate who i really am as self - in favor of the mind - within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate who i really am as self- 'in favor of that good feeling' - that i get from my meditation - that bliss - which i believed was an experience ofself - believing that that experience is me uniting with 'parama purusa' or supreme consciousness  - not realizing that that self- as who i really am - did not split into 2- nor did it go anywhere - i am here in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that my belief about the cycle of creation is created in the mind - from the starting point of FEAR of loss - fear of losing me as self - as i identify as the ego/character/personality - within a limited definition of myself - defining me within the polarity of knowing and not knowing - searching for who i am and what my purpose is in life - in separation of who i am - not realizing i am here as breath in every moment - i direct me here - therefore it is not real - because it is not self-directed. It is FEAR directed  - the fear that i created in my mind - thus, it has no real physical existence.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that the CYCLE of CREATION is a CYCLE - which the character/ego/personality believed was real - because i believed that there is a beginning and an end -  words i separated myself from - a polarity manifestation of the mind - not realizing that i am here as self - and that i am the words that i speak - and so when i speak about 'supreme consciousness' as more than me - i am defining me as less than myself - as less than life - so i live and express me within/as that definition - not realizing that i am limiting who i am this way - and that loving the guru is me living in fear that i am less than who i am as life -  so defining myself into existence - as Fear of loss/FEAR - using words separate from me - participating in beliefs, judgments etc. - not realizing that through self-forgiveness and self-correction i can deconstruct the patterns i exist as and reconstruct and birth me here as life - for what is best for all life -as self here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how i created this world by supporting personality systems - that support the same points - meditation groups and all groups that accept and allow a leader that is believed to be more than them and a guru that gives 'devotees' 'liberation and bliss' -  not realizing that by standing individually - within a group that stands for/as life - using self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - we can all stop and reconstruct and birth ourselves - and birth a world based on equality - that will ensure the creation of heaven on earth - a world that truly honors life - so life will be here forevermore.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT REALIZE/SEE that i as the ego/character/personality is who i defined myself into creation - based on fear of losing who i am - and within that fear - desire to unite with the 'supreme consciousness' - so follows what the guru tells me to do to reach that point - a point that i have defined as more than me - and  so abdicate me here as self - in favor of the mind  within desire, judgments, beliefs etc. - not realizing that i can stop the mind and correct me - and  can recreate me as that self that can be trusted to always stand for what is best for all life - the self that directs me here in every moment to stop the mind and births me here as life - as matter, as plants, as animals, as humans, as 'non-living things' etc.- equal to all parts of me as life.

I commit myself to through writing self-forgiveness and self-correction - assist myself to stop the mind and birth me here as life - and birth a world based on equality - until all are free 

I commit myself  to expose all abuses directed to transform substance to energy -  in favor of experiencing bliss/happiness or 'anadam' - or good feeling - within self-interest and self-sabotage