Philippines: How Porn and Prostitution Was Created Part 1 Sex, Pleasure and Money

What is fuelling the desire for porn?

Where i grew up, talking about sex openly was a taboo.

'Suppression'?

I was told to close my legs when i sit on a chair. I was told not to laugh boisterously because it was not feminine to do so.

Being a 'Filipina' means i cannot tell a male i like him, i cannot smoke, i cannot have sex before marriage etc.. That was the definition i was given which i lived as if i cannot redefine a word and live it as equal to who i really am - a female equal to a male - as my expression.

I was told to be obedient. I was told male asks the females out and so i learned to wait to be asked by males. I was told not to be forward - to be 'reserved' in my ways which i later found out is 'suppression'.

When i went to College in the city and lived with relatives,  i enrolled in a Catholic College for girls. Right beside this all girl's college is an all boy's college. I was about 17 yrs old at that time.

What i noticed was that there was this growing desire within me to know and experience sex with the opposite sex. My girl friends and i talked about the parties in the nearby boy's school. The perceived separation from the boys created fear of not having a relationship with the opposite sex so the desire intensified fueled by the fear. The fear of losing fueling the desire to win using sex, relationships and money.

There are a lot of movies and tv shows that depict 'courtship games' that culminate to 'love relationships', marriage and kids - most of which came from the US, impulsing us to buy tickets to the movies which equates to more money to produce films so there's more money and profit for the corporation and in terms of pornographic films, more money for the sex industry.

But what interested me at that time was how these characters look like they are enjoying kissing each other as depicted by their behaviors in the movie'. I 'interpreted' their body language as showing lots of pleasure, that i have not seen in ordinary life. I interpreted their words are conveying happiness and 'pleasure'. I imagined within my mind the 'multiple happiness' i will get after the kiss. My interest back then was 'how to experience the same pleasure' not realizing that this is an interpretation of what i see and not what is really what physical interaction was about. I did not see that this is me wanting the 'moreness' of me through physical interaction to be able to win in a world where i can loose as survival is not guaranteed.

Porn magazines was labelled as 'bad' and we were told not to touch those.

The question remains, why can't i not learn about them?

The mechanics of physical interaction between the male and the female was hidden and was labelled 'bad' which does not match what i observed. The movies are depicting kissing and physical interaction in bed between 2 people as a source of 'pleasure'. I later found out that this was deliberate to stimulate sexual stimulation for profit.

But what's fueling this desire for 'pleasure'?

I believed at that time that this desire = me as who i really am. It's not until i was introduced to Self-forgiveness that i realized everything about me is who i have become as the personality - someone who i created within my mind - based from my fear.

The church said it was 'a desire of the flesh and not of the spirit' so sex should not be done without marriage. The problem is that I did not question why the priest is saying this and quoting the bible. I accepted it as true believing that the priest is the authority not realizing that i am the author of my life and that i can direct myself to investigate about what REAL physical interaction is about.

I had my first boyfriend who initiated me to kissing and sex which i judged as less than what i magined within my mind -where i inflated or deflated reality by interpreting it and giving it a value more than or less than what it is based from my own survival - within self-interest.

I got married at a young age with my first boyfriend, pregnant with my first child.

While some would try porn and prostitution to experience sex and pleasure and to express ones sexuality and to transcend the fear of being inferior - or being labeled as 'bad', as what the Asian girl in a documentary i watched did - participating in a 'gang bang' with 250 men to transcend her fear of being inferior to men believing that girls too can have sex with more than one man just like men can have sex with more than one woman, I tried the culturally accepted way - Marriage.

But the starting point is the same isn't it?

Fear of being inferior and desire for pleasure through physical interaction.

Did i create the porn and prostitution industry? If yes, How?

In  my next blog i will explore this topic and write about this.