'Postponement' Character Blogs
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect me, my experience of me and my definition of me to a thought of seeing myself looking at the computer noticing that i had been working in the computer for a while - having a thought 'what do i do next?- where i am seeing myself bored and thinking that i do not have freedom and is controlled by being there for a long time - and in that accepting and allowing myself to become an energy-experience of boredom - and in that moment accept and allow the thought and experience of boredom - as this is what i have become in that moment
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how with that thought coming up in my conscious mind and me relating to the image resonating boredom - as the initial negative -- that if i accept and allow to connect to it, relate to it or participate in it - where i in any way believe that that thought is me - i will accordingly become it and experience it
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i have accepted and allowed thoughts as memories and my experience towards it - to decide who i am in a moment -instead of me directing who i am in every moment of breath
I commit myself to when and as i see myself connect me, my experience of me and my definition of me to the thought 'what do i do next?' - i stop - i breathe - i realise that who i am is not the negative energy experience of boredom and i realise that who i am is not the positive energy experience of wanting to see what should i do next - to make myself believe that i am finished and is going to finish another task - where in a way i am seeking the moreness of me within stopping what i am doing and starting another one - believing that i am doing more - where i am deceiving myself - where in fact i am participating in a thought - directed by the mind - so to assist myself to rather than be directed by an experience - to instead of an energy experience connection - which leads to postponement develop a self-aware seeing and form a self-agreement to establish directive will to not participate in the energy and actually move oneself to finish the task that one is doing - and take a breath when and as the thought arise and apply myself in completing the task that i have committed to finish - seeing and realising that if i do not apply myself it will more often than not lead me to consequence and compromise to my relationship to self, my life and others .
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in imagination of seeing that i can finish so many tasks at once - where i am seeking the 'moreness' of me - within a perceived positive energy experience - in a future time - and also seeing that i might forget to do that task in my mind - - within a perceived negative energy experience and then creating a perceived positive experience by getting up and doing the task while leaving the task i am doing at that moment - and within and as the imagination accepted and allowed myself to connect me, my awareness a, my definition and my experience of me into a reaction of excitement and anxiety respectively
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 'visualize' the amount of time it will take me to finish the task - and within that 'visualise' the energy experience of excitement and anxiety respectively and seeing how excited i am going to feel when i finish the tasks i imagined and how much anxiety i will have if i will not remember the tasks i just thought about if i do not stand up and do it respectively - and within the anxiety - experience also regret that i did not do the task when i thought about it
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how i have taken reality and imagine an alternate version of it within/as my mind spending moments as breaths participating in the reaction of excitement , anxiety - and regret respectively - within the imagination - instead of me simply applying myself in that moment and moving me to complete the task.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that to change my definition and experience within/as my mind does not in fact mean i have changed in fact. i have to move me and manifest me as an actual physical manifested solution within my finishing the task and doing it as per i have directed me to do.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself imagining i can finish so many tasks at once and being excited about it - i stop - i breathe and clap my hands twice to bring me back here and slow myself down and finish the task - seeing realising and understanding that it is me seeking the 'moreness' of me as an alternate version of me within/as my mind - and that doing the task and finishing it as what i directed me to do is me as the real character - as flesh - here moving me in self-directive will.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself imagining i might forget the task i imagined in my mind - to instead of stopping the task i am doing - to realise, see and understand that is is me as the alternate version of me manipulating me to live as the 'posponement' character - and to see, realise and understand that who i am is here - as flesh - moving me to do what i directed me to do within my schedule of tasks to do and so to assist myself to finish what i directed me to do.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to speak to my own thoughts and imaginations within my mind as response to the imagination and energy experience within the words of 'what do i do next' this seems to be going okay - i got this under control, what else needs to be done? If i do not do this now, i will forget about this ' - where i have transformed words into thoughts, memories, images, fantasies within/as my mind within the context of the energy experiences as reactions of excitement, anxiety and regret respectively connected to it - where i have allowed the energy relationship and mind relationship to words to define me and move me in determining who i am - instead of me in self-awareness living words as the living flesh and so has become the 'postponement' character in a dream world of the mind- instead of as the real character living in a physical world here
I commit myself to when and as i see myself speak to my own thoughts and imaginations within my mind - i stop - i breathe. I realise that this is me as the alternate version of me within/as my mind as the 'posponement' character wanting to survive in an alternate reality within my mind - transforming words into thoughts, memories, images and fantasies within/as my mind within reactions of excitement, anxiety and regret respectively connected to the backchat - so to assist myself to instead of accepting and allowing an energy relationship and mind relationship to words to define me and move me - assist me to move me in self-awareness living words as the living flesh to birth me as the real character - moving in self-directive will to finish my task.
Reaction dimension to follow
Tao of Food Preparation Recipes
'Living' E-book
Friday, October 5, 2012
'What Do I do Next?' 'I Might Forget': ' Day 179: 'Postponement' Character
Thursday, October 4, 2012
The Word 'Here' Day 178: Connected to Sadness: Solution Blueprint: Part 2: 21 days Breathing Part 2
In one of the Solution Blueprint blogs, i said that i will look at how i charged the word 'here' with a positive and negative value. In this blog i am looking at my relationship with the word ' here'' - separating from the word by charging it with a positive and negative value - looking at the words i connected it to and defined it within - where i did not see it equal to my expression and to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application assist myself to release the charge and use the word as equal to my expression .
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word here by giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word here by giving it a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word here with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word here with a negative value
Positive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word here within the word comfort
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word here to the word happy
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the word happy
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word here to the word eternal
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word here within the word eternal
Negative
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word here to the word suffering
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word here within the word pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word here to the word pain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word here to the word sad
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word here within the word sad
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear sadness, discomfort, suffering and and pain.
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I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application i will look at how i separated from what is here and correct myself within that by looking at when i am participating in thoughts, imaginations, backchats etc.and correct myself within my self-corrective application - by being aware of me as breath..
I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating from the word 'here' - by giving it a positive and negative value, i stop - i take a breath. I change my starting point and use it as equal to my expression - as my awareness of who i am as breath
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I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing sadness i stop - i breathe. I realize that when i fear being poor, fearing discomfort, fearing suffering and fearing pain - i feel sad - and try to hide this sadness because no one wants to talk about it - so i kept it within myself suppressing me as self - through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my sadness - and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire happiness - where in my fear of sadness - i created an initial negative energy experience relationship to the the fear and a positive energy experience relationship to the desire - where i desired to be saved by god and the guru and desired eternal happiness in relationships etc. covering up the fear of sadness - fear of being poor, fear of discomfort, suffering and pain and desired happiness instead.I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring happiness - i stop and take a breath. I change my starting point and embrace sadness - as equal to my expression.===
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The Word 'Time' Day 177: Solution Blueprint: 'Late' Character
In one of the Solution Blueprint blogs, i said that i will redefine the word time. In this blog i am looking at my relationship with the word 'time' - separating from the word by charging it with a positive and negative value - looking at the words i connected it to and defined it within - where i did not see it equal to my expression and to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application assist myself to release the charge and use the word as equal to my expression .
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word time by giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word time by giving it a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word time with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word time with a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word grow
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word develop
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word develop
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word evolve
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word evolve
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word present
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word present
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word future
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word future
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word succeed
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word succeed
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word age
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word age
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word degenerate
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word degenerate
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word worsen
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word worsen
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time within the word past
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word past
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to the word money
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word time within the word money
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I commit myself to when and as i see myself separate from the word 'time' by charging it with a positive and negative value - i stop - i breathe. I change my starting point and correct myself to instead of connecting and defining time to and within other words - i use the word as equal to my expression and see time as my accumulated breaths here.
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application lassist myself to use the word - equal to my expression.
The Word 'Overwhelmed' Day 176: Solution Blueprint: 'Late' Character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word overwhelmed by charging the word with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word overwhelmed by charging it with a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word overwhelmed with a negative value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word overwhelmed with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word success
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word success
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word money
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word money
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word business
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word business
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word work
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word work
Negative Charge
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word tiredI forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word tired
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word confusion
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word confusion
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word late
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word late
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word overwhelmed to the word disorganized
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word overwhelmed within the word disorganized
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I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating from the word overwhelmed and charging the word overwhelmed with a positive and a negative charge - i stop - i take a breath. I change my starting point and bring myself back here. I tell myself to stop and be aware of me here as breath
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Solution Blueprint 2 weeks : 'Late or Procrastination' Character: Day 175: Update: List of Tasks : Start of Part 2
This is the end of the 2 weeks in my solution blueprint. I have found out so much about who i am as the 'late or procrastination' character:
http://juneroca.com/my-process/the-21-days-breathing/the-late-character/
I am now doing my assignment daily and will carry out to completion.
So, to support myself in doing the many tasks that need to be done in birthing me here as life, I am doing a daily, weekly and monthly task allocation and recording them in a calendar.
I am in this blog, taking you to have a peep into a 'part of my life' - my daily tasks list.
I will continue blogging about my process and do a blog about the thoughts , imagination , backchat and reaction dimensions etc. of the 'late or procrastination' character using self-forgiveness and commitment to correction - within self-corrective application.
Here are the list of tasks that i directed myself to do (i will look as i go and update as i go breath by breath):
1. Assisting the body daily:
* having a shower
* stretches - finding out what movements assist the body
* self-massage
* writing down what food i eat daily to see who i am within my food choices
2. Doing my assignments to be effective in living life practically
* DIP
http://desteniiprocess.com/
* Agreement Course
http://desteniiprocess.com/courses/relationships
* Nutrition Course
http://june-roca.healthcoach.integrativenutrition.com/
3.Developing the business we have to support my survival within money and stand within my allocation point - which is nutrition - in this world:
http://budsoflife.org
*Completing what needs to be done - documents, money and finance
*Communicating with the potential client or existing clients
4.Walking with Team Life in birthing LIFE in the physical
*Reading Supporting Blogs:
-Journey To Life
-The Creation of Heaven and Earth
-Establishing A World That Truly honors Life
* Doing Things That will assist the team
- Blogging or writing about my life to discover how i created me and using self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to correct myself and birth me here as life
- Video of me in my process to assist all as me in their process
-Rating blogs that support the stopping of the mind and the birthing of life on earth
-Update social networks and sites to post blogs and vlogs to assist others in their process
5. Positioning myself within my allocation point in Life where i can assist others as me
*Making blogs about food and nutrition
*Giving Commonsense Cooking classes in the clubhouse
-Making Posters
-Distributing Fliers done with my partner
>updating and correcting the redefining food websites
> www.redefiningrawfood.wordpress.com
> www.redefininginternationalcuisine.wordpress.com
> www.redefiningvegetariancooking.wordpress.com
> www.redefiningvegancooking.wordpress.com
> www.redefiningbreatharianism.wordpress.com
6. Assisting the physical universe
*Cleaning the house
-doing dishes
-sweeping the floor
-mopping the floor
-cleaning the bathroom
- cleaning the shower
-doing laundry
*Making sure the car is cleaned
6. Assisting the Animals
- making sure the birds have water and birdfeed in the porch
7. Assisting Plants
- making a compost and assisting in watering plants in the communal garden
8.Supporting My Agreement with My Partner:
* Physical interaction
- blogs in stopping the mind as desire etc.- seeing who am i within sex, what am i within sex and why am i within sex
9. Transcription of Interviews for a text perspective about how nature, man, and animals co - exist based on equal and one standing with/as the physical and create heaven into/as earth: Selected Interviews from the Eqafe Store and from the list below (all are assisting)
The Animal Interviews:
http://juneroca.com/animals/5556-2/
The Anu Interviews
http://juneroca.com/store/anu/
The Beginner's Thoughts, Writings and Self-forgiveness
http://juneroca.com/store/beginners-thoughts-writings-and-self-forgiveness-conscious-subconscious-and-unconscious-mind/
The Quantum Mind Series
10
http://eqafe.com/i/jroca-quantum-mind-self-awareness-step-10
11
http://eqafe.com/i/jroca-quantum-mind-self-awareness-step-11
14
http://eqafe.com/i/jroca-quantum-mind-self-awareness-step-14
10. Learning how to drive
*Practical practice with my partner
*Theoretical Study
In Part 2, i will look at how i created this character so i will look at the problem- reaction -solution and the manifestation of the solution in the physical.
Monday, October 1, 2012
My Story: My First Sexual Experience Day 174: Prove That You Love Me: WAIT Part 5
Part 2
This is a continuation of this Blog
Part 3
In this blog i will continue the self-forgiveness for different characters i played out in the mind's narrative in the previous blog. I am starting with the event when DSS and me - had our first sexual experience which is key in me looking at how i created me as a mind character within sex -and looking at who am i as sex, what am i as sex and why am i as sex - as the mind character to stop - and birth myself here as sex as the physical - as sensation, as presence, as movement - as the breath here - as life.
Sexual experience when in their house:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'he's putting his finger inside my 'jade pearl' - this feels good specially when he touch my breast when he's doing it - i want to experience this everyday - desire for sex - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ' he devirginized me? was that it? -belief, judgment - trying to understand - unknowing' character
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Let's have a look at my experience as a child:
- where when i was about 6 or 7 years old - i was playing with a friend who's the same age as me -who is another girl that comes to our house to play with me, let's call her DG- where when we were playing on the bed and getting under the covers - she put her finger inside my vagina and i wondered what that was - it felt cold - i just wondered what that is and why she did that and i remembered i looked up and saw like clouds above me and so i rubbed my eyes - defining myself within the
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i wonder why she put her finger inside my vagina -it's a cold sensation - there's something naughty in her look - yet she looks like she's playing as an innocent kid like me - as the judgment, trying to understand, unknowing ' character
Let's bring another memory back here
- when i was about 5- 7 yrs old. I was with a male family friend - let's call him DC. He's about 28 -35 years old. It was between 5PM to about 7PM . I was sitting with him on a pavement next to my grandmother's house. He was sitting on my right side. Both of us were wearing white cotton shirts. He was holding a packet of food on his hand and feeding me with it, when i felt his finger go inside my vagina. It was a cold sensation that i felt inside me and i was wondering why he did that and what that cold sensation was - defining me within the
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i wonder what that is and why he put his finger inside my vagina - i am wondering what he did - what is that cold sensation? -i like the food i am eating that he is giving me - but i am thinking about that cold sensation - as the diversion of attention - suppression -bribed by food - molestation - trying to understand, unknowing' character
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Let's go back to the memory of my 'sexual experience' with my ex- husband:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'the door is closed - we're alone together - i want to have sex but he's watching this basketball on tv - i wonder if he wants to have sex? When is he going to stop watching tv? - as the desire for sex, hoping, hiding' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'the door is closed - and he is starting to touch me - i better be quiet - not to moan too much when i feel orgasmic - as the suppression and desire for sex - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the ' he's putting his finger inside my 'jade pear' and his 'jade stalk' is hard - this feels really good - and i am enjoying this - i am ready for his 'jade stalk' inside my 'jade pearl' - it's wet - he's now putting it in - and it feels good - i love this feeling - as the desire for sex - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'this rubbing motion up and down repeated many times make me feel good -i love this feeling - i need to feel this more often - i want to be with him everyday - i wonder if i could move in with him - desire to be together in relationship - desire for sex - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i did not menstruate this month - i can be pregnant - i better go and have a test - i am truly pregnant this test will not lie - we have to get married - but he is just starting to work in the computer field as he just finished his course - we do not have money yet to get married - but this bulge may show - my dad will be upset if he knows - but i am waiting for his decision - desire for marriage , hiding, pregnancy as manipulation' character
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Looking at when his parents told us -that they wanted to meet my parents in a restaurant - to talk about us getting married and finalize marriage arrangements. His dad said that he will pay for the wedding:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i was saved from shame by his father's decision for us to get married - he even offered to pay for our marriage -thank god he has money - he must like me - and my family and the granddaughter which i carry in my belly - having a child out of wedlock will make my dad angry -as the belief, judgment, shame, money is power -inferior - marriage - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'that is a good decision - they finally decided - besides, i do not like to stay at home with all those disagreements in my family- in his family his dad is an engineer - he earns a lot of money and his mom does not work and stays home cooking and taking care of the house - they have a big house with marble floors - so i am secured - aversion to disagreements - discontent - comparison - judgment -pregnancy as manipulation - happiness' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i wonder if he is ready to be a dad? - he's got a job but it doesn't pay much - i am sure that because he is intelligent he will get a good job and will earn good money in the future - they said we can live with them for a while - that's good, we will not have to pay rent in the beginning -he's spoiled by her mom though and acts like a king of their family - everyone is scared of him - as he shouts loud when he's angry -' even the coackroach flee' when he's angry - he does not shout at me though - he loves me - i tamed his anger with love - doubt, judgment, hope, dependence, help, transcending fear of anger by marrying a person who gets angry - manipulation' character
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Stopping The Mind Narrative
Self-Commitment
I commit myself to when and as i see myself desiring to have sex with someone - i stop - i breathe. I realise that this is me as the mind character desiring a positive energy experience within and as my mind - to assist myself to instead of desiring to have sex with someone i am attracted to and then manipulating the situation to get a positive energy experience within my mind - see the man's form as equal to my form - as both forms are made from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that exist - where instead of using the body as a power source for the mind - which is not best for the body because the mind will be consuming the nutrients which i give my body to assist itself to survive - nor is it best for me as i am in this body and if it gets consumed and it degenerates i myself will not be able to express myself here. So, to assist myself to understand, see and realise - desiring sex is me desiring an experience - within self-interest - so to assist me to support me as the body - to support me as the breath - and support my agreement with my partner within physical interaction and express me as movement, sensation and presence -as who i am here - and birth me here within/as the physical in that primal scream of life - as who i am as the flesh- as the blood as the physical body- being intimate with myself and intimate with another as me - and interacting with the physical body of my partner as myself - to assist the physical - as all are made from the same substance all are made of - equal to all that exist.
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist myself to stop the memories, pictures desires etc. of all these characters in this narrative and live life - that is best for all - where instead of manipulating another to satisfy my desire, i assist myself to see all man as an equal and instead of fearing people who are angry, i look at utilizing that anger expression within and as myself to push me to stop when and as i see myself participating within/as my mind as fear of anger - and to utilize who i am as equal to anger as my expression - birth me here as life and when me as the mind is making it difficult to push through - to change and stop - to assist myself to utilise that anger expression to 'rrrrrooaaarr' myself into birthing me as life - breath by breath moment by moment.
I commit myself to instead of being directed by the characters i have given life to - when i was newly born baby up to about age 7 - living the same pattern over and over in my adult life -driven by the same fears - i assist myself to stop- and utilizing the roooaaaar of anger expression within and as myself to live a life that stand for what is best for all - no matter what it takes.
I commit myself to instead of being motivated by survival and financial stability in choosing a mate or a partner - to look at being self-intimate with oneself and finding ones stability as breath here - and when an agreement - where 2 people walking as equals within self-intimacy - presents itself to support the agreement as equal to who one is - as an expression of oneself - within self-honesty - and support ones partner as oneself in living in the world but not of the world - to survive and earn money in any way possible - and find out where one can also align oneself in living ones allocation in this world - to within ones self standing make a change in that particular field - in however life presents itself - to make oneself be available and do what needs to be done - and give way for others as self - to realise what one is accepting and allowing - and within that stopping ones mind - to through one's blogs and vlogs being a testament of ones process - to through these blogs and vlogs support others in their self-perfection process - where as the water of life flows on earth - life flows and is birthed on earth to be here forevermore
I commit myself to instead of believing and manifesting a belief -to change me from living a lie as in 'be-lie-f' to live and 'be - life' - stopping the mind and birthing oneself - and standing for what is best for all life.
I commit myself to stop me as the mind to within that stopping stop the living of the same patterns i lived - by my kids - and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pass on my genes and dna codes to my kids - and within that - passing on the sins of the father - 10 generations back - to be given life to - by me and then by my kids - to rather than continue this inheritance of sins - as repating patterns - STOP reenacting the same patterns - and change - to birth oneself and stand for what is best for all life.
I commit myself to stop supporting a world system based on inequality,and self-interest and commit myself to stop mind participation within desires, beliefs etc. - to instead assist in establishing an equal money system and change the value we give money based from inequality and self-interest - as what is being shown by the media, the sex industry, the dating industry, the marriage industry, the food industry etc. - to a value equal to/as LIFE.
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Solution Blueprint Update: Assignments: Realizations: 12th Day: Day 173: SF Oct 1 2012
SOLUTION BLUEPRINT
Related Blogs I Have Done :
21 Days Breathing Blogs
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I started doing a solution blueprint for the 'late or procrastination' character - for me to have a look at what i am doing in separating myself from the task at hand and time itself - and instead go within my mind and do other tasks that i desire to do creating a positive out of an initial negative - when i am bored and sleepy.
In my solution blueprint - where i jot down daily what i was doing on a daily basis, i found out that the mind gets in the way of me applying myself practically in doing my DIP assignments daily - where i would automatically think about things i have to do and stand up and do it - leaving my assignment unfinished .What i found is working is really applying me in the physical writing and doing my assignment and not giving in to the mind, so i am doing my assignment daily.
I started initially by starting my day doing my assignment but then there's a time when there were other tasks that needs to be done early on the day - so then i started doing these tasks instead of my assignment and pushed my doing my assignment later in the day - whenever i have time - but making sure i do it - but i forget if i have done it or not. So within this, there is the 'unknowing' character - as i play this one when i try to get out of taking self-responsibility.
I asked myself a question - did i do my assignment today? and the answer is - I am sure i did but i cannot remember when, and then i go into a sense of being overwhelmed. So, here i can see that i am being overwhelmed when i am not here as breath doing my assignment. This is clearly me as the mind character - the 'overwhelmed' character.
I have looked at this character - but i have not blogged about it.
I realised it is not just doing the assignment but BEING HERE AS BREATH WHEN DOING IT.
These are points i will direct in blogs to come:
*Redefine the Word Time
*Blog about Unkowing and my experience as the mind character within that and correct myself and birth me as the real character as the breath in every moment here
*Blog about being overwhelmed and my experience as the mind character within that and correct myself and birth me as the real character as the breath in every moment here.
*Redefine The Word Assignment
*Look at how i charged the word 'here'
So, i am also writing down the task that i will do for the day and instead of me writing a to do list or not writing one - which i tried before, i am writing down the amount of time i allocate for each task that i do daily - but i will not hold myself to the time i scheduled daily and will not restrict me to do other tasks when i am finished with the task..
Here is my self-forgiveness and self-commitment for this blog :
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate - and define myself within the 'procrastination' character - where i stop what i am doing - like making my assignment - when i think of something that i have not finished to do that i need to do - where i am hoping that in doing that task it will give me a positive experience - with the thought that i actually finished something- leaving the task i have to do unfinished and sometimes forgotten -when i come back to the task that i was doing - not realising that this character i have given life to for a long time - and so i am directing myself to stop and physically assist myself to do it. Clearly, this is me as the mind, directing me to do any task that i think about, react, imagine etc.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself procrastinating and defining myself within the 'procrastination' character - where i become bored and sleepy when i do not clearly understand what is being conveyed in the assignment - I ask myself what word i do not understand and assist myself to be patient with me to really assist me to look up the meaning of the word or symbols or numbers and redefine it to something i can live as my expression - based on who i am as equal to all parts of life.
I commit myself to put the assignment within and as myself and see who am i within this assignment - what am i in doing this assignment and why am i doing what i am doing in making my assignment
I commit myself to when and as i feel sleepy and bored and having a mental blank -when i am making my assignment i stop - i breathe and say, 'I am here'. I clap 2x to wake myself up and stand up and splash water on my face or take a shower - whichever is practical to wake me up - then assist myself to get back in front of the computer and finish what i am doing.
I realise that when i am not doing my assignment or when i procrastinate - i think about those unfinished tasks during the week and become overwhelmed when thoughts come up about doing and finishing the task - so i commit myself to assist myself to be intimate with me as who i am as breath here - as the physical sensation of what i do - as the movement of my physical body - as the presence of who i really am - and to instead of entertaining thoughts, backchats, reactions, pictures, sounds, or desiring to finish an unfinished task in the past - to tell myself to stop - and tell myself that i will put that in my list of tasks to finish - allocate time to do it - and finish what i am doing in that moment - and if there is a 'call of nature' that i really need to do something to assist the body or the physical existence, i tell myself to stop and tell myself to start another task - and to slow myself down and not be caught up in that - where whatever i see i connect to something that i have not done - to not do that - to instead finish that part of the assignment i am working on according to the time i allocated for that task - breath by breath.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled when doing an assignment - because i do not like sitting and doing the same thing for a long time and so desires freedom by doing something else - where i have thoughts of getting some nuts/fruits, sweeping the floor, folding the clothes, preparing food etc. - and entertain me as the mind - and imagine that i will feel good by getting up of the chair for a minute - creating an alternate reality within/as my mind where i imagine and think about things i can do to make me happy separating me from the task at hand - and time - desiring to get up and do something else - justifying it by saying 'i can do my assignment later after i feel better' which is from fear of control - not realising this is me as the mind character that i am giving life to and not who i really am as the real character - equal to the task at hand and the accumulation of my breaths here as time.
I commit myself to stop the fear of being controlled when doing my assignment - and stop the memories as pictures, desires etc. - within and as myself and let go of the the separation within my mind where the task at hand becomes a negative experience and desiring another activity or task for a positive energy experience and assist myself to bring the task within and as myself - and express me within the task and whatever i create within that practical movement breath by breath as freedom as who i am here in my expression.
I Had A look At The Things I Have To Do Daily and In The Next Blogs I Will Come Up With The List of Things I Have To Do Daily, as My Daily tasks!
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